Interesting Reading

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I was reading a few blogs the other day & came across some interesting reading about descansos. Descansos literally means "resting places" and the idea of resting places as markers in life. I have read Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés views of 'making descansos.' What she says is to take a look at your life and marked where the 'small deaths' and the 'big deaths' have taken place. She suggests to create a timeline of your life and mark down with a cross the places along the timeline where parts of yourself or your life have died - or not has been what you wanted. You mark the roads not taken, paths that were cut off, ambushes, betrayals and death of dreams and ideas you've had. This is a way to acknowledge what worked /did not work in your past so that you can then let it go, as the past, and move on.

To extend this idea further another suggestion was to look at it as 'milestones' in your life. Sit down and remembering the significant milestones. Celebrate the joys and mourn the losses of life. CalmEagle's blog suggests "Just as our ancestors drew on the walls of caves and sat around the campfires telling stories of triumph and tragedy we can engage in the transformative process of using story to help us."

I like this idea! Looking at my life and celebrate my joys, along with mourning my losses as a release of the grief, but most of all as a celebration of life.

This seems like a good way to heal the past.

for Virginia ::: David's Story

Over the next three months David & I communicated via email. He expressed his love for his daughter & the heartache it was to lose her. He expressed the sorrow, the loneliness & his hopes for the memory of Virginia.

I got to know David a little more during those emails. And I got to know who Virginia was for him. She was everything to him!

"I have had dreams, and I have had heartaches, I have lived, I have loved, I have hurt inside and out. Some crushed dreams (my daughter) cannot be overcome, no matter how hard you try. I am a welder by trade and her descansos will last longer than most. But it to will be uprooted at some point by someone who knows nothing of the story that goes with the memorial. It is the passing of wind and sand and time. Perhaps someday they will come to understand the grief that passed that spot so very long ago."

All he wanted to do is pass on his folklore. He wanted someone to listen, maybe someone who could understand the pain. But sadly, I just received a final email saying goodbye.

David was on his way to be by Virginia's side where he can find his happiness again. He did not explain anything more then just "I'm ill" and that he could no longer be in communication. I felt like I was loosing a friend. But he requested that he be allowed to die in peace.

So my reply to David was:

"David, all I know now is that God is there with you & that puts my mind at ease. I WILL find a way of seeing your daughter's descanso. The distance from Florida to Arizona is great, AND it is not going to stop me. Know that I already see your devotion and will get to see your creation. I will continue to have you & your daughter in my thoughts forever.

I wish you well & may God be with you on your journey."

I made a promise to David, that I am not sure how to keep it. I promised him that the memory of his daughter would not vanish with his passing & that the descanso he built for her will be remembered even after its demise.

All David wanted was that the memory of Virginia never fade and that his descanso for her, still remain alive.

All I know of David is his Unconditional Love for his daughter & I cannot let his folklore just vanish. I feel he has entrusted in me, the preservation of Virginia's memory. And now also the preservation of David's story.

Good Bye David.