Baby Grace :: No Coincidences

I had an amazing thing happen to me today!

I was just in the process of finalizing my decision to start the Baby Grace Foundation Non-profit. I was starting to make contacts so that I can register it with the state of Florida. The thoughts running thru my head AT THIS VERY MOMENT was "the reason I am doing this foundation is to give discarded babies a name, a proper burial rite & to aide their spirits to ascend to God." Basically I want Baby Grace's life & death to be remembered with dignity.

Spiritually I had a visual image of Jesus holding Baby Grace in his arms and I imagined how beautiful it would be to know that she will eternally be cared for. BUT as a human being my thoughts were of doubting myself. Is this foundation thing going to work? What will people think of the idea of focusing on dead babies? BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... that self-doubt that my little voice runs constantly.

Just as I was starting to believe my self-doubting little voice, I heard the chime of my Outlook, letting me know that I got an email. A friend just sent me this image of exactly how I had visualized Baby Grace in Jesus' arms.

She sent me a message that was inspired from above - "Do It!"

Baby Grace :: Revisited

So here we are 10 months since Baby Grace passed away & I am wanting to complete the roadside memorial in time for the 1yr anniversary. I allowed a "no" (OR should I say a lack of a "yes") to stop me from doing what I said I would do. See back in Dec, 2006, I contacted Sun Recycling & pitched my idea for the memorial. They said they would consider it and get back to me - I never heard back from them.

In the process of planning this memorial, I've had a profound encounter with this 1 day old child. She showed me the value of acceptance & forgiveness. Her journey ended the same day it started, right before Thanksgiving. In her only day of life, she accomplished more then most of us do in a whole lifetime. She suffered a lonely death, but she did not depart alone. As previously explained, her 6 lb body was found in a construction debris dumpster with the umbilical chord still attached. She was dumped there right after the mother gave birth.

Over the months of following her story, I learned the value of forgiveness. I learned that from her short life. Forgiveness is a powerful gift and it is yours for the taking. All we have to do is give it away or accept it when it comes our way.

All of us do things that we regret & cannot take back. Some more difficult then others, but God forgives all. All we have to do is ask for forgiveness. Now just imagine, really, a lonely mother (possibly at the darkest moment in her life) is looking back at what she has done & not sure if she can forgive her own actions. Just imagine hearing the soul of her 1 day old child whispering "mom, I forgive you..." How would that feel?

Would I be that open and be able to forgive someone who has done me wrong?

So thru this encounter, I get to discover my humanity. Yes, I get to see the flaws of our humanness and the harshness of our humanity. But I also get to see the greatness that we are capable of! See Baby Grace had a regular, loving funeral. She was buried by 50 people who loved her, strangers as they may be. They got to show her love and acceptance. No, there was no mother in sight or family to take care of her, but she did not leave this earth alone.

She was taken care of by the 19yr old kid that found her in the dumpster among the construction debris. She was taken care of by the 3 strangers, owners of the recycling plant where the dumpster dropped of its load. She was not alone nor lonely anymore. This is true acceptance!

This really fills my soul to know that she was loved as she crossed the River Styx.

By creating this memorial, I feel that I can create a public symbol that would deliver the message of forgiveness. I feel that the memorial will let the people, who cared for her, know that her life did not end in vain. It was a life that contributed to many people. Creating the memorial would not only commemorate them, but would also express to all that she can be remembered with dignity.

And I can live with the thought that she did not die in vain.

Baby Grace :: Through Forgiveness...

Through forgiveness, which essentially means recognizing the insubstantiality of the past, and allowing the present moment to be as it is, the miracle of transformation happens not only within but also without. A silent space of intense presence arises both in you and around you.

You dissolve discord, heal pain, dispel unconsciousness--without doing anything--simply by being and holding that frequency of intense presence.

- Eckhardt Tolle, The Power of Now

The other day I was emailing back & forth with a new friend i've just met. She is a friend who lost a child to a traffic accident in 1989. She asked me a simple question "I am curious to see if you know [her son] and if he visited you before he left this earth." I replied that I've only had one child-like energy ever visit me. I shared that about a year ago, I visited a memorial of a child & the message she wanted to give was for her mother to have peace & to assist her parents in learning to let go. And as I am typing this, I don't stop the sentence there. I continue to type "Baby Grace - I feel she wants to find her mom & to allow her to forgive herself for what happened."

I did not have that in my mind & I did not indent to write that down - where did this come from? It just showed up right then & there! So now I can see the reason why I've had an urgent need to continue creating a roadside memorial for Baby Grace. I never had a purpose & never could explain why I was doing this. I was just driven to do so!

With this sentence I got my reason & now I am even more driven to be unreasonable & make my presentation to Sun Recycling. Baby Grace made such an impact on so many people's lives. And the only reason for doing this is so that she can allow her mother to find forgiveness in this world for what happened to Baby Grace.

The memorial will give the world a message that we can move on - in spite of the tragic circumstances - only so that Baby Grace's mother can do so as well. And so in doing that, I feel that all mothers out there in a similar situation can also allow themselves to just forgive the past.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!

Baby Grace :: Experience the Twinkle and Sparkle of Life

I just received a preliminary sketch of Baby Grace's roadside memorial. I'm really excited that Nancy B. decided to assist me on this project by preparing this sketch. I plan to make a presentation of this roadside memorial to Andy P. to see if he would allow me to place this memorial at the entry to his recycling plant.

So you may be asking yourself why I would do this for a child I never knew. This baby was not a relative of mine - I don't even know what she looks like. My answer honestly has to be "I don't know!"

I don't have a valid reason for doing it... nor can I even justify an excuse for NOT doing it. I don't know why or for what reason, I just know it's something I must do. If I don't do it then who will!?? Who will make sure that her death was not in vain.

See Baby Grace died without a mother to acknowledge her, no family to take care of her body and in spite of that - she did not die alone. The twinkle of a newborn's life was not lost on the factory worker that found her body. The sparkle her life had to offer is NOT wasted - it is recycled back to the universe! Back into you & I.

The way I see it is that this little angel came into this world to show us that a single soul - in one day of life - actually made a difference in our humanity by touching many lives! She made an impact in the lives of the recycling plant owner who was inspired to pay for the funeral; on the 50 people compelled to go to the funeral of a child they did not know; and she made an impact on my life! She has touched more people in her single day of life than many of us allow ourselves in a whole lifetime.

What her life inspired in me is to :
Imagine what I can do with the years of my life...

How many people, in my life, do I actually have a positive impact on? How many people do I leave them in better spirits/ feelings/ state of mind, then when I first met them? I yelled at my son before leaving the house; at the gas station I tossed the cash on to the counter; on the road I cut somebody off really close. See, like many of us, I live my life like I don't have time, I'm too busy running my business - too busy needing to make a living - too busy raising a family, that I do not have time to care about the other.

This is not living - that's surviving!

I am too busy with the everyday stuff that... I forgot to live life to its fullest. Forget to appreciate what & who is really around me in my life. I know the postman got a 'get out of my way' look this morning.

So from what I see missing, I am inventing the possibility of...
experiencing the Twinkle and Sparkle that life has to offer each and every one of us...

With this new insight on life & with the experience of Baby Grace's life, I can really see that experiencing what life has to offer would really be living life to the fullest. Enjoying every moment like it really matters... because it really does.

"Carpe Diem! Seize the day, lads! Make your lives extraordinary!"

"--Dead Poets Society

Baby Grace :: Update

This morning, in the process of moving my office, I found a copy of the letter I wrote to the CEO of Sun Recycling on December 28, 2006. Sun Recycling is where Baby Grace's body was found in the dumpster back in November. See on Dec 21st, Sun Recycling provided a funeral service to honor her death and again I had a hard time dealing with this story. I could not live with the news story that one-day old Baby Grace, was laid to rest. I could not accept that a human being could discarded a baby like yesterday's trash. I could not accept that a human being can be so cold & heartless.

But judgements do nothing but criticize. Actually what I could not accept was living with my own inadequacies - my story that a single human cannot make any difference. See my story sounded like this: "That's just the way things are..." and "It's unfair but what can I do about it?..." I have valid reasons for being this way & I hear that story running like a tape in my head - over and over again... I got sick of it!!! I cannot just sit here & let it go by like yesterday's news - into the trash. I could not accept that things had to be like this.

Appropriately so the week I was looking for what I can do, the S.E.L.P. classroom was about "being unreasonable." Living outside of the reasons we give ourselves; beyond the limits we live in; beyond an ordinary life and just living into an extraordinary life. So I took on that challenge. I want an extra-ordinary life!

So I made an "unreasonable" request! My letter requested that, besides being unreasonable in providing funeral services for a baby he never knew, I wanted him to be even more unreasonable. I wanted him to allow me to create a Roadside Memorial for Baby Grace on his property. The request was so that I can create my live outside my limits and beyond my reasons. And so that in living an unreasonable life I can dream of an unreasonable society where - not one more baby gets discarded into the trash.

A month went by with no reply and I started to feel small again. My reasons showed up again. Reasons like: "this is just too morbid" - "too weird." - "I don't have any relationship with this poor baby." - "this is too much work!" It is these very reasons that kept my humanity small!

So this morning, as I am thinking of this letter, I get a phone call from Sun Recycling. The call caught me off guard since the man, Andy P. quickly introduced himself and went right into - what are you asking of us! I thought he was going to say no - but he went right into "what do you want to create and what do we have to deal with."

I am amazed at the generosity of these men! The level of commitment, love and compassion. This is inspiring to see the better side of our humanity.

Baby Grace

On Dec 21, a funeral service was held for a baby girl only days old. The services at St. Matthew Catholic Church was held in the presence of 50 persons who really cared for Baby Grace. People like the workers who found her 6-pound, 19-1/2-inch body; the police detective who is investigating her death; even the owner of the plant, who paid for the services, was present. But unfortunately a grieving mother was nowhere to be found.

See Baby Grace was found dead in a garbage dumpster, her umbilical chord still attached. She was buried in a donated, ivory-colored dress trimmed with tiny rosebuds and pearls. The white 2-foot long casket carried this angel to her final resting place. The motorcade taking her to the cemetery even had a police escort. She came into this world all alone, but definitely did not leave it that way. She was surrounded by 50 persons who cared for her - even though they were all strangers.

Florida law allows parents to drop off unwanted babies at hospitals, fire stations and emergency medical facilities with no penalty of law. So Baby Grace's mother must have been in a serious situation and maybe not even aware of this law. My assertion is that she must have been desperately alone. Why else would she see discarding Baby Grace into a dumpster as her only option and why would she never step forward to claim her when she was found. Lord, give me strength!

So through Baby Grace's memory I can see the possibility of Love, Forgiveness and Compassion. By creating this possibility, out of what I see missing, I can go out into this world and make sure that her death was not in vain. I can commemorate the memory of Baby Grace; I can learn to forgive such an inhumane act and I can create compassion so that not another baby will be discarded into the trash.

Baby Grace

There has been this story in the newspapers that is still gnawing at me.

On Nov 20, a baby girl, named Baby Grace by investigators, was found in a construction dumpster - umbilical cord still attached. The first thing I thought was "how can anyone just dump a baby like a pile of trash?" But this thought came from anger and a sense that "where has our humanity gone?" I realize that these are negative thoughts and are judgemental. I don't know anything about the mother & what could be going on in her world.

Maybe she is a teen mother who felt all alone in this world & maybe she was scared of being responsible for a baby's life. Maybe she was scared to death! What would her parents do to her if they found out!? Maybe the mother is an adult who is in danger herself. I have no clue therefore cannot judge at all! Only God can do that.

But I cannot help being drawn to this little girl's story. I still cannot get over being angry & sad for what happened to her.

I have this need to do something about it. I don't know what I can do for this little girl, but I do have this need to restore my faith in humanity. And maybe in doing so I can bring dignity to her death.